All the Power in the World
by livingdeadgirl
Summary: Willow is lost and only one person can reach her.


Title: All the Power in the World

Author: Kora/Violet

E-Mail: KrazyKora@aol.com or WinterViolet24@aol.com

Rating: R, language

Improv: century -- unleash -- ground -- melt

Disclaimer: I do not own Willow or any of the other characters, they belong to Joss Whedon and UPN.

Spoilers: Set far after 'Tabula Rasa'

Pairing: Willow/Oz with Willow/Tara references

Summary: Willow's lost and only one person can reach her.

Author's Notes: I write about Willow a lot! I've never done a Willow/Oz fic so I hope this isn't too bad. It's very angsty and may or may not have a sequel. I did this piece in particular for someone who requested it, so- this is for you!

He walked in with his hands in his pockets, his face cool and expressionless. It had taken him a while to remember how to get to the Magic Box, he had honestly never planned to return to Sunnydale. After all, the last time he had been here he had discovered, much to his dismay, that he had probably lost his true love forever. The old phrase 'a leopard can't change its spots' popped into his head momentarily and he chuckled at it. His leopard hadn't changed her spots but she had certainly changed her sexual preferences.

Buffy walked over to him first. It was odd seeing her again. He vaguely remembered hearing a rumor that she was dead but she certainly didn't look it, as she stood before him in the flesh, the very worried flesh. 

"I didn't think you'd come."

Oz didn't say a word, he merely looked at her. Of course he would come. They called, he came. All they had to do was call the right word and he would be there in a heartbeat. 

Willow.

One name, one word, so many meanings. Oz had often thought of the red-haired girl who filled his head every second of every day. Never leaving or wavering. Once she had been his breath, his air and now…

Oz shook his head silently and looked at Buffy. There must have been some compelling force in his eyes because the moment he looked at her, Buffy clasped her hands and with a wiggling smile, whispered, "Follow me."

Oz walked behind her, almost gliding as he soundlessly moved through the store. Out of the corner of his eye he could see a concerned Anya and Xander. For once they weren't kissing or fighting, they were merely holding each other, their faces stricken with an inner pain that actions or words could not carry out. Oz's thoughts drifted to Giles, what would the British Watcher think of all this? He had left, left them all behind so they could grow up. Or at least this was the gist Oz had gotten from over the phone. What would Giles think of this situation, what would he do?

But then, would he even be able to wrap his mind around the amazing fact that Anya was now running his store? The once social retarded vengeance demon was now a smooth-talking salesman that seemed as if she had been born on this earth mortal and just like the rest of them. Or at least, this was the gist Oz had gotten over the phone. After slamming him with the impact of Willow's current state and Giles' leaving there had to be some light note to end the conversation with. Anya and her amusing wiles had been it.

Spike also stood to one side, leaned back against a bookcase, his arms folded. He looked about as expressionless as Oz. For a moment the two met eyes and a meaning seemed to pass between them. What kind of meaning, Oz wasn't quite sure, all he knew was that the meaning was something that wasn't to be taken lightly. It felt odd to connect with the vampire, yet oddly comforting.

Buffy finally stopped before a door with a large padlock on it. She looked sick as her eyes landed on the door, her face breaking out in a fresh sweat and her eyes growing misty. She turned away swiftly and rushed off, shooing off Dawn who had apparently been trailing behind them secretly. Oz looked at the door and looked at the sullen figure who sat next to it. The individual who had unexpectantly been the one to call him to this place.

She sat in a tacky orange red plastic chair, the kind you found in elementary schools at the lunch table. Her long blonde hair looked fretted and tattered from being played with too much, possibly twirled and chewed on, a nervous habit some have. She looked exhausted, purple black circles hanging heavily under her light blue eyes. Her pale skin sagging from lack of rest.

Her head rose and she looked at him, hopelessness radiating from her eyes. 

"Hello Oz."

Oz spoke for the first time since his arrival, "Tara."

There was another one of those tacky chairs next to her and Oz took a seat in it, looking straight ahead, one hand resting in the other. His breath hitched as he tried to breath, the seriousness of the situation sinking in. When he had seen the door…the truth of what Tara had said in her phone call finally impacted him and its weight was more than he could bear. His chest ached as his heart pounded painfully, his eyes hot with unshed tears.

He could see dried tear trails on Tara's face but he did not question them, instead envied them because he was a man and he could not release emotions the way she could with about being looked down upon by his peers. True, here no one would judge him but he would judge himself harshly and he knew that now was not the time for that. Now was not the time for tears, at least not for him. Not yet. Instead he kicked at the floor stupidly and cleared his throat, his voice ragged as he spoke, "It's as bad as you said, isn't it?"

Tara sniffled and tried to speak. Her first few attempts were choked off as she fought back sobs until at last she managed, "Yes. It's as bad as I said."

"What did…what did Buffy say?"

"Buffy was the one who suggested the room. I didn't want to. We didn't want to. There was no choice. It was the hardest thing I've ever done Oz…to lock her up in there. But we had to. There was no choice, if we didn't she would have broken out."

"Has she tried to? Break out I mean?"

"A dozen times. But…I think what's happening has finally settled in on her and she's gone calm. Maybe she's coming back to herself, I don't know but…" Tara lost control, her hand flying to her mouth as she exploded with sobs and tears, melting as she managed to wrench out, "I think its too late."

Oz reached out and patted her back, soothingly ran a hand through her hair and did his best to calm her down. Still, it was not good enough and she rushed from him to the restroom in the distance. He could hear her retching and his eyes sealed tight with pain. At last she returned, visibly shaking as she sat back down next to him, her body so hot the heat warmed his body.

Her eyes looked off into the distance as if lost and she whispered, "I love her. I love her more than my life. I wanted so much to be with her forever. I only left her because…she was frightening me, Oz. Terribly. But that didn't mean I didn't-that I don't love her. Oh god. Oh god, oh, god, oh god."

Tara rested her head in her hands and Oz patted her back again. After a time she raised her weary eyes to his face and whispered, "She loves me. I know she does but…Oz…she loves you too. I don't think she loves you more than me or that she loves me more than you. I think her love for us is the same but different. Love in the same amount of power, but in different ways. That's why I called…because even though I think that, I don't believe it. Because…if she loved me more than you, I could reach her. But I can't. I can't. So I thought…maybe you can."

Oz could tell that this confession had taken a lot out of the fragile girl and he held her close, kissing her head in a friendly way. It would have seemed an odd gesture considering they were not friends and had not spent much time together but strangely it seemed appropriate and fitting, both fulfilled by the action. Tara gave a tender smile and remarked, "Y'know, I've always been a bit jealous. You were always able to make her feel ways I could never make her feel. I sometimes wish I could have been her, because the way she is, the woman I love, is only the way she is because she loved you."

Oz gave her a grin in return and they stayed that way for a while until at last he separated from her and rose to his feet, "It's time."

Tara nodded and with a heavy sigh began the process of unlocking the big, massive door. It was enchanted with various spells that Tara broke through as easily as toothpicks and soon the door was unlocked, ready for entry. Tara looked at Oz, "Be careful."

Oz nodded and reached for the handle. The door screeched open and a white light shot out, blinding Oz as he entered the room, the door shutting firmly behind him. It took a moment or two for his eyes to adjust to the light and then he saw her. 

Willow.

She sat there in a large metal chair, her body emanating white light so bright that Oz reached into his pockets and drew out the shades Tara had told him to bring when she had called. He slipped them on and walked over, his eyes set on the girl he had loved for so long. She was staring. Her eyes trying to see through the door. Oz kneeled to one side of her and raised a hand to his lips, not breathing.

Suddenly, as if seeing for the first time, her head turned, luscious red hair a gorgeous wave of fire as she regarded him for the first time. At first she did not speak, then at last she did, her voice so ice cold and distant that it pained him to hear it, "What are you doing here?"  


"Tara called. She told me about your…condition."

Willow snorted scornfully, "'Condition'? I'm dying, Oz. Just fucking say it and get it over with. I don't need this pussy shit."

Oz balked at her words. His Willow didn't speak like this, but then…she wasn't his Willow. Not anymore. He swallowed and tried again, "They thought you might want to see me."

Willow let out a breath, "Then they were wrong."

"They said you may have…"

"Returned to my senses because I haven't tried to escape in a while? No, sorry to disappoint you sweetheart but there are no 'senses' to return to. First off, I'm the same Willow I've always been, I've just gotten better and everyone can't deal with it 'cause it disrupts their ego trips and second, there's no point in escaping 'cause for once those people are right. I'm dying so to reiterate, no point escaping."

"'Those people'? Willow…they're your friends."

"My friends!" Willow called out shrilly and jumped to her feet, her eyes glowing to match her blazing insides, "My friends! Bullshit! Friends don't do what they do! Friends understand and care and congratulate! Friends don't keep each other down. Buffy's been holding me back for years! Holding me back from being what I should have been, what I always could have been if I had put my mind to it instead of letting her-all of you-brainwash me into thinking that all I could ever be was meek little Willow!"

Willow's body glowed brighter as she unleashed a wave of her power, the ground shaking beneath them as she roared, "Look at me, Oz! Look at what I am! What I have become! I am the most powerful being on the planet! More powerful than Buffy….more powerful than God!"

Oz rose to his feet as best he could, her power charging about unchecked. He could barely hear the alarmed sounds of the others reverberating outside the door. They no doubt wondered what was going on and Oz knew he had to take control of the situation. A bitter grin crossed his face as he remarked tartly, "Well, if you're so powerful. Then why are you dying?"

Willow's face contorted as her rage grew. The earth shook so heavily now that Oz felt his teeth vibrating under her force when suddenly, in a flash, it ended. Willow sank back into her chair and looked surprisingly defeated. She didn't speak for a time, her lips in a tight line. Oz imagined she was probably trying to think of some witty thing to retort to what he had said, something to top him. Instead he went in for the kill while she was calm, knowing that if he didn't she might release another wave of energy, this one too much for anyone to take if she got upset enough.

"Willow…throwing your weight and power around…it doesn't resolve anything. It's like when you cuss. Not to sound like my grandmother but, when you cuss too much it shows people that you're not intelligent, that you can't think of anything smarter to say so you reduce yourself to petty insults that don't have as much impact as other things do. Power's a lot like that, Will. And one thing you know for sure is that absolute power corrupts absolutely…I think that's why you're…"

Willow held up a hand as if to stop him. He saw her throat work as she swallowed, her head turning to look into his eyes. He almost broke at what he saw in those emerald depths, the pain and desperation. She had finally returned. The woman he loved. And she was dying. Willow lowered her hand and continued to stare at him until somehow she melted from her seat and into his arms. He held her close, tightly as silent tears escaped her.

"I've hurt you all. I've hurt you all because of my lust for something more."

Oz nodded, surprised to have reached her so quickly. It was his understanding that the others had been trying for months. Only a few words from him and she caved? Suddenly he grew very suspicious when she whispered, "I'm dying, Oz. That's why you reached me. I let you reach me. If I hadn't let you, you wouldn't have. 'Cause trust me, I'm more powerful than you could ever be. Than any of you could ever be."

"You…read my thoughts."

She let out a sigh, "Yes."

"How…how powerful are you?"

"More powerful than you could ever dare imagine."

Oz held her tighter, "Willow…that scares me."

There was a tense silence and then a childlike voice replying, "Me too."

More silence in sued until at last Willow let out a breath, "It's coming. I can feel it. Like a train barreling toward me. Oz…"

"I'll go get the others." Oz said and tried to rise to his feet.

"NO!" Willow cried out and clung to him, "No, Oz. Stay with me. I don't want them to see me…like this."

"But Tara…"

"She was right," Willow breathed weakly, "I do love you both but…my feelings for you…they've always been a bit more."

Oz tried to shut out the pain from that verbal blow as she begged, "Please, please don't tell her I said that."

Oz nodded, upset that she had listened in on the conversation he had had outside with her ex girlfriend and pulled her deeper into his embrace, his lips brushing her forehead. The light was beginning to grow even stronger and Willow let out a pained breath. She reached up and touched his shades, "Oz…your eyes."

He knew what she wanted and without another thought he removed the glasses, his eyes meeting with hers in the blinding room. She gave him a trembling little smile, "I've missed those eyes of yours. I used to see them every night…before I went to sleep."

A tiny, treacherous tear escaped his eye, crawling down his face to land on her cheek. Willow's smile merely grew and she continued to speak, "I will be the first witch in a century to die by her own power. It's funny…all the power in the world and I still…"

Willow shook her head, "Tell Buffy and everyone I'm sorry. I'm just thankful I managed to recover myself before my death. I would have hated to think I would have gone berserk or something and tried to kill Buffy. To have to have her make that choice again. She killed Angel once and it nearly broke her…if she had been in a position where she may have had to kill me…no, its better this way. This way I just let my powers burn me out into nothingness."

The light was so strong now that Oz could barely see Willow as she said softly, her voice dying with her body, "Tell Tara I love her…I love her and I wish I could have loved her more, loved her the way she deserved to be loved. Perhaps you can stay here Oz and watch after them, watch after Tara. I'd like that. I'd appreciate it. But you don't have to, I don't want to make any demands you feel you-you have to fulfill."

Oz nodded, wondering if she could even see him when suddenly he felt her rise up and she became clear in his view, the white light behind them as she whispered, "I love you, Oz. I wish things could have been different. But at least I'm dying here. In your arms. Kiss me."

Oz lowered his mouth and kissed her. Slowly they pulled away and Oz choked out, "Willow, I love you too."

Willow gave a sad grin and suddenly her eyes grew glazed, sightless. The light erupting from her fell away into dim darkness and Oz held her empty shell close. He shut her eyes. Kissed her forehead and at last let himself breakdown into uncontrollable tears.


End file.
